.jpg) The BBM team have been very cautious since the new revenue raising mobile speed cameras were introduced onto Sydney roads.
Back in East Sussex, however, Matthew Cook doesn't have such worries - he was convinced that his excuse for speeding was foolproof.
You see, when Cook was caught weaving in and out of traffic, smoking a cigarette and doing 166km in a 96km zone, he told police that he ‘did not understand the speed dial because he was suffering from dyslexia.' Genius!
The Crown Court wasn't too understanding though, banning Cook from the roads for the next three years. |
|
.jpg) The geniuses at Leeds University have found the precise reason why people worldwide love their fish and chips - it's the smell, of course.
Naturally, you would think that the aroma of fish and chips would be easy to describe. The smell of salt comes to mind as a simple description. Or the ink from yesterday's Sun which it's wrapped in.
But here at BBM, we are praising Dr Graham Clayton (that's Food Doctor to you) who has discovered that the ‘complex aroma' that attracts us to fish and chips is a mixture of "butterscotch, cocoa, onion, flowers, cheese and ironing boards."
Dr. Clayton (who also goes by "Einstein") hopes that chips will be "treated like wine in the future - with fans turning into buffs as they impress their friends with eloquent descriptions of their favourite fries."
Finally! A way to impress women that we at BBM are good at!
"Now here, my dear lady, is the 2010 Chicken Salt variety.." |
|
 IT’S A well known fact that some English counties generally have better-looking people than others. There’s just something in the gene pool make up. A certain je nais ce quoi of geography and genetics.
Basically, we’re talking about inbreeding.
BBM might be a big hairy man, for example, but even we’d have a shot at winning Miss Norfolk (pictued) given the three-eared standard of most of the women there.
And Cornwall might be a beautiful place to live, but there’s always a whiff of the ‘family’ loving about a county so isolated from the rest of us.
Laura Anness obviously felt the same way after deciding to apply for the Miss Cornwall competition, despite being three years older than the age limit and living in Devon. The English teacher duly won – but was then stripped (unfortunately not literally) of her title when organisers discovered her shameless web of lies.
"I feel sorry for her, she’d been entering these contests for years and never won, and now she has finally won she gets her title taken from her," organiser Becky Chapman said.
|
|
 If the Government really wants to "stimulate" the economy, why don’t they put pictures of birds with their tits out on the back of 20 pound notes?
It’d help our economic growth we can tell you – phwoar!
Well you may think BBM is being a dirty old man but our pervy plan moved a step closer this week with the news that the image of composer Edward Elgar has finally been removed from the back of 20-pound notes. Alas, they haven’t plumped for BBM’s busty economy-booming idea. They’re putting a boring economist called Adam Smith on the back instead.
"Dropping Elgar tells us much about the way in which the arts are now viewed in England," said said Jeremy Dibble, a music professor at Durham University. "Bank notes should applaud the greatest aspects of England and English culture."
|
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 Next > End >>
|
|
Page 1 of 3 |
